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Grieving with Purpose
No one is prepared for grief. The rush of feelings, the thoughts, anxieties, and heartache can take us by surprise and drive us to our knees. Yet, when we choose to harness that power for self-growth, amazing things can happen. Good can come from pain.
Sigmund Freud first brought up the concept of grief work in 1917, and today the idea that bereavement is purpose-driven continues. Dr. James Worden chose to see the work of bereavement as task-oriented:
- To accept the reality of the loss
- To process the pain of grief
- To adjust to a world without the deceased
- To find an enduring connection with the deceased in the midst of embarking on a new life
Your current job is to focus your attention on achieving each of those goals. It will not occur in any logical order; each of us is different and the path we walk in the bereavement journey is not a straight one.
Dealing with grief is hard work. It takes both courage and hard work to successfully adapt to the loss of a significant person in your life.
Healing through Remembering
As you experience loss, you should know that it’s okay to do these things to help in the healing process:
Remember. Each one of us touches so many lives. When we are gone, we want people to remember certain things about us. Take the time to call upon your own memories.
Cry. It’s not only okay, it’s appropriate to cry. Your grief is an acknowledgement of the one who has passed. Many have cried before you, so don’t be afraid to show how you feel.
Share. It is normal to want to share. Find someone who knew the person you lost, and take the opportunity to trade memories. It’s just one small way to keep the memories alive.
Each individual we serve has an online Memory Page and Guestbook. You can share your memories with others directly on that page. Click on the link to the left to access our website and locate the appropriate page of the person you wish to remember.
Recommended Reading
There are numerous books about grief and dying at all major book stores and public libraries. Some are age specific and others are loss specific (i.e. loss of a spouse, parent, child, etc.) We encourage you to seek these resources and other grief articles if you feel the need.